I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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