The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
