He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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