White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
only if we run a train.
done.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
