I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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