3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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