I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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