i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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