I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
