i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
