i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My feet surprised me
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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