Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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