i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
