Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
