Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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