She's JV to your varsity
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
