dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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