It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
