i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
