Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
