I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The air was thick with penises
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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