just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
