The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
