So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
