WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
