well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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