Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
