Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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