I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
