i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
