it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
