windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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