I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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