Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
