So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
