I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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