Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
