Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
