guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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