NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
