I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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