carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i think i just lost a toe
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