he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
