You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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