i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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