sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
