Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
