I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
