I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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