what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
