Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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