Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
