I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
